Dear Kyra,
I love you soooooo much... You are my best friend! We have been through so much together... From birth... to breastfeeding... pumping... going back to work and school... crawling... learning to walk... self-feeding... talking... late nights and early mornings... weaning...soymilk, baby food and then table food... reading stories... going to the parks and malls and movies and arcades and chuckie cheese... buying you ice cream and cupcakes and soda and pretzels... buying you clothes and shoes and swimsuits and tights and barretts.... braiding and twisting and curling and pressing and blow drying and flat ironing your hair... taking you to church... to play dates ... to preschool... to daycare.. to friends houses... to family's houses... to rehearsals... to performances... to the studio... to concerts...to Sacramento...EVERYWHERE! And I want to say THANK YOU for all of it... For every moment I have had with you... You mean the world to me... I realize that you have been here for me through all of my failed relationships, and through my college life and friendships and music and church... you have seen me grow up and become a real mommy to you... you have seen me cry, laugh, jump, hop and skip... you have seen me get on a plane... you have driven with me to far places... gotten carsick, sang laughed danced clapped and sang my songs at the top of your lungs! you have lived with me at Gran NeNe's, in my rent-a-room houses twice, then in our own apartments... you have shared your space, time and attention with friends of mine, with your aunties and uncles, with boyfriends, with roommates and with house guests for rehearsals, game nights and bible discussions and studies...you have stayed up late while i did homework, projects and waited for me to come to bed... every night that we are apart, you ask for me and try to wait for me to come home... you run to me when you see me and give me kisses and hugs... you plan things for us to do and books for us to read... you ask for me to buy you things and take you places... you ask to hangout with my friends... you ask me questions about God... you ask me when i am going to get married! lol, smile... you are an amazing little girl... so smart and full of love and life...you deserve the world and God is going to give that to you... I know that you trust Him to do that and so do I! You are the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me and without you I would be lost... you give me motivation to live and to succeed. you push me to be better and to do better... you make me strong and keep me humble... you show me myself and the things that i need to change... you also show me the good about myself and tell me you love me and need me and want me around.... what more can i ask for? you are such a pure heart and everyone that comes into contact with you is delighted by that interaction... you teacher is amazed at you and told me that you will change the world... you are always the youngest kid around, yet the tallest and most times the smartest... I love you so much and your very existence heals my soul... sometimes its hard for us and we struggle... we get mad with each other and overwhelmed and just need a break... but we always miss each other and then make up! My life revolves around you and I'm working on making sure that i get even better at making sure that you feel safe, secure and that you can trust me to always be there for you and give you the attention that you want, need and deserve... you mean the most to me and I'm so grateful to have become your mother... i love you Kyra, and thank you for being you... love, Mommy...
p.s. I just want to be a big girl and say that i am soooo sorry for all of the time attention and effort that i have sacrificed to invest in other people and relationships instead of with you... I should have put you first more than I have and i can admit that... I'm sorry for always being gone and for not spending more time with you... you deserve more of me... we are all eachother has and i have to remember that and act as such... i have made a decision to devote more of my time, love and attention to you... you deserve it and I know that we will be ok... i know that we will get through whatever struggles come our way as long as we are together... and i promise that i will try my best not to let you down... i love you Kyra... supremely and with all my heart!
