My Journey to a PURE and CLEAN life in Christ

I somehow acquired a book titled, "Pure Heart" By: Shellie R. Warren a while back. I believe that at the time I was in a relationship. I wanted to begin my journey towards consecration and purity sexually. However, because of the fact that I was able to partake in sinful sexual activity on a regular basis, I wasn't convicted. So I read the first Chapter and put the book aside. I didn't rediscover it again until about 9 - 10 months later. By this time, the relationship has ended and I am forced to leave my own place due to making a financial sacrifice within that relationship in which I was cheated on throughout the entire relationship. Now the Guy has a new baby due very soon with the other girl and he made me and my daughter believe that he wanted to be there for her. Well God tried to warn me, but I didn't listen! Therefore here I am picking up the pieces. AGAIN.... smh. Anyways, As I said before, i re-discovered the book this week and began reading it again. *SIDEBAR ( a few months ago now, I became very frustrated and fed-up with the relationships that I have had... Also I became very annoyed at the superficial connections that I had been making with guys who never seemed to have any intention of marriage or of being a father figure to my daughter... I started to resent those around me who seemed to have happy healthy relationships. I even started to resent those who had completely dysfunctional relationships simply because of the fact that though they may be dysfunctional, they still had a relationship. Then God convicted me and showed me that all I had to do in order to experience real love His way, was to go back to basics. basics for me meant, stop talking, stop dating, stop sexing, stop kissing, stop touching, stop giving chances to guys whom I knew weren't in my spiritual league and let God handle it... Since then, it has been difficult to say the least because guys from the past have tried to make comebacks, and new guys that instantly encourage lust within me have decided to pursue me... And yet, I have remained steadfast. However, I can't take credit for that. This, I believe is simply due to the fact that I am not in a relationship, nor have I been put into a situation where I had to make a decision about how far i will go sexually. Knowing this about myself, I began to grow a bit worried and began praying desperately for God to transform me and remove the taste on sexual immorality from my mouth. However, this isn't enough to make the transition, and while I knew that, what i didn't know was exactly how to close that gap. So at church we have a bookstore and i decided to purchase a workbook simply called "Boundaries". I personally struggle with implementing boundaries in all aspects of my life. So I figured that would be a good place to start. However, unfortunately the workbook was the companion to another book, which my bookstore didn't offer. Well so much for that I thought... So I shelved the workbook and continued to pray. Then one day this week, i stumbled across this book again. I immediately started to read it and was amazed at what I read... it was EXACTLY what I had been needing to hear and read... it actually correlated almost verbatim with this series that my Pastor had just concluded at church. There are scripture references all up and throughout the book too! I was thrilled.... Since then I have read two chapters and they alone have made me want to jump up and down and shout out to the world that the road to purity is very easy and simple if only we would DECIDED that we want to flee sexual immorality! But those around me don't seem to be as excited as I am... So i realize that i just want someone to share this knowledge with... To discuss these things with. But, I guess I might be in a place where I have to allow God to bring that someone into my life. So I am gonna be content to allow Him to handle that. But in the meantime, I figured that I would keep a journal so that I could vent about things throughout this journey. I figure what better way to do so than to put it here where no one ever looks? So here it is... Journal entry #1... I know that God will allow me to be victorious with no slip=ups because that is what I am committed to do... I'm tired of the emptiness that I have continued to feel for so long. I am tired of going without real love... So i am changing everything, even my diet in order to allow God to re-work my life into what He wants it to be!